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Marta
29 April 2008 @ 08:51 pm
On account of my LJ being thoroughly neglected, I've decided to make a little update on the Dazzling Life of Marta. 

Nothing too adrenaline-fused or heart-stopping going on - new friends, new loves, new school subjects to study with the utmost dedication (ha, ha). In all seriousness however, my new ambition is Art History, which I am hard pressed to call a "school subject" at all, as those usually entail much anger and frustration on my part. Art History definitely does not make me angry or frustrated - quite the opposite. 

Another objective for 2008: my drivers license! In Poland one gets their license at the age 18, so I'm finally able to get to it. I attend three hour lectures biweekly, along with first aid courses and medical examinations. 500 signs to learn... joy...

I'm a happy teenager, if that isn't an oxymoron. Life is good, I feel optimistic and energetic and a bit less socially awkward. School is almost out, I've got great friends, the best Big Sister in the world who I'll be seeing in a short while, and more dreams that you can shake a stick at. Jest nawet spoko.

Hope everyone else is doing alright! 

Wishing y'all a fabulous week. :)
 
 
Current Mood: optimisticoptimistic
Current Music: death cab for cutie - crooked teeth
 
 
Marta
19 March 2008 @ 11:20 pm
This made me laugh.

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states homosexuality to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
www-users.cs.york.ac.uk

 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
 
 
Marta
05 March 2008 @ 08:13 pm
Hey, Scratch, don't make it bad
Take a lesson from other cats
Remember to avoid making a mess
Then you can start to make it better

Hey, Scratch, don't be afraid
You were made to exploit the litter
The minute you poop on a bed
Then you can forget about catnip

And any time you feel the urge, Hey Scratch, refrain
Just go and use the goddamn litter
Well don't you know that it's a fool who can't control
His smelly bodily functions


Dedicated to my wonderful feline companion Scratch who just can't help crapping on my dad's bed every two days.
Before any scandalized Beatles fans come at me wielding sharp and potentially lethal weapons for massacring this song... I meant no offence, just a bit of fun and silliness. and it's such shit anyway, it's not worth getting into a snit about. ;p

 
 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: the beatles - hey, jude
 
 
Marta
03 February 2008 @ 01:43 pm

I've been "planning" to go on a healthier diet for ages now, although without any real intention to go through with it. I don't know how it happened, but a week ago I decided to stop planning and just do it. I've been in a funk as of late, and I thought what the hell, maybe finally getting in shape will snap me out of it. BOY was I right!!!

It's incredible how much better I feel - I feel happy, energetic, confident, pretty... nothing can ruin my mood! Not my mother, not the boy, not exams, nothin'!!!

It's also amazing how my figure is already starting to look amazing. I can't believe people think you can only get skinny by starving yourself. All it takes is portion control, trading in junk food for some veggies or fruit, and a lot of exercise - AND systematicness. 

 
 
Current Mood: refreshedrefreshed
 
 
Marta
16 January 2008 @ 06:09 pm

NO, I'm not perving - I mean traditional acupressure Chinese cupping. It's a method that's been around in Polish culture for a long time, only I've never been subjected to it. To those unfamiliar with the process, cupping is applying glass, rubber or plastic cups to the body and creating a vacuum which suctions the skin. Basically, self-inflicted hickeys.

Now, I've heard varying opinions regarding the actual medical effectiveness of cupping. Some defend it, claiming it's a perfect subsitute for antibiotics, while others say it's nothing more than a tradition and a placebo. 

According to the cupping enthusiasts, the cup is supposed to "suck" the blood out of my vein and thus increase my body's immunity and blood circulation. HOWEVER, according to the antagonists, cupping's benefits for the human organism aren't scientifically proven, and while not harmful, certainly not beneficial. 

The reason for my interest is that my mother plans on sticking these glass leeches on me tomorrow! She tells me terrible things, such as: "If I put de cups on you and you leave de house, you vill DIE!" So, naturally I'm a bit concerned and a tad curious.

I'm researching the thing, but I'm met with conflicting opinions. Does anyone know anything about this treatment?

EDIT: I got out of getting cupped. :) No cup-hickey's for ME, thank you!
 
 
Current Mood: nervousnervous
 
 
Marta
15 December 2007 @ 01:56 pm

   By no means do I consider myself a wordly connoisseur, but I can honestly say I'd prefer attending an art gallery or theater to the mall (as a matter of fact, I'd prefer just about ANYTHING to the mall). Pop cultural has worn me out, which is why I've decided to isolate myself from the stupid and inane world of celebrity rumors, mediocre radio music and fashion tips, and begin to explore the world of art, theater and literature. 

    This month's play "Griga" by Anton Czekhov was interesting: I've read Czekhov's works before, so I wasn't surprised by the satyrical, cynical tone. There was a very noticeable duality: depending on how you looked at it, the play was either a tragedy and a comedy.
   The action took place in Russia, specifically in a barren room. The title character, Griga, is a washed out, college drop-out drunk who is celebrating his Namesake Day with his two friends Sonia and Pietia. There's some embarrasing interraction with the audience - I was in the front row and almost got kissed by one of the actors. There was also a bottle of vodka that was given to the audience (I don't think it ever made it back, actually. Dissapeared somewhere in the middle rows). The dominating theme of the play is alcohol, no doubt about it. The satyrical blade is obviously directed towards the extremely high vodka consumption in Russia. As the story progresses, the characters get more and more intoxicated, veering from wildly amusing antics (such as mistaking their pants for jackets and attempting to put them on their arms) to heartbreaking confessions (Sonia is a depressed actress, craving true love. Pietia is left by his wife, whom he cannot live without, Griga is thrown out of college). Of course, admitting their problems just entails more alcohol. This is an important detail, as it suggests a never ending cycle of escaping from your problems, and not doing anything to fix them.




 

 
 
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
 
 
Marta
08 December 2007 @ 12:46 pm
My childhood friend and neighbor Melania comitted suicide. We haven't been particularly close these last few years, for which I'm regretful. I'm not going to guess why she comitted suicide, because the truth is I didn't know her very well. It's her secret, one she took to her grave. I hope she's found the peace she lacked in her life.
 
 
Current Mood: shaken
 
 
Marta
20 November 2007 @ 11:01 pm
Some time ago while I was burrowing through the rubbish in my attic, I managed to dig out a childhood relic: my first ever game console, NES. It was pretty dusty, but when I plugged it in it worked just fine. NES was actually a pretty significant part of my childhood - I remember my Big Sisters and their Big Friends attempting to play the games in solemn concentration, and me just itching to get my mits on a controller. I loved that thing. Even after not having played on it for over ten years, my fingers know which keys to press (not that it's terribly complicated anyway... there's only like, two buttons, lol!)

I love gaming, but being a ridiculously sentimental being, I associate certain games with people that played them with me, and am incapable of playing them with anyone else. So if I played Zelda with a childhood friend I'll never see again, I'll never play Zelda again. Ania finds this weird fact about me amusing, as I won't play Monkeyball with anyone but her. :)

Enough of this nostalgic sentimental crap, though. Back to math. 

 
 
Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
Current Music: t.rex
 
 
Marta
10 November 2007 @ 09:20 pm
Why are boys such impossible, piggish, pea-brained twats? I'd like to know why I seem to attract nothing but fuckwits. I don't get violent urges very often, but when some moronic blockhead thinks a few lewd, derogatory comments regarding intimate parts of my physiology are going to woo me, then I'm not opposed to slapping the living daylights out of 'em. And people ask why I don't have a boyfriend! Take a look at the imbeciles I'm surrounded with!

End infuriated rant.
 
 
Current Mood: infuriatedinfuriated